This WKRP in Cincinnati fan fiction was written for the Yuletide Treasure fic exchange in 2010.

Morning with Johnny

Cousin Shelley


"So don't you think it was the right decision?" Bailey asked. Johnny didn't say anything. He sat across her kitchen table, mug of coffee steaming in front of him, his usual darkly tinted glasses on, hair sticking up wildly. She had the urge to finger-comb it down.

"I mean, Herb just kept going on and on . . . I really think I was within my rights to tell him to lay off. Don't you?" She laughed a little nervously. "You're not saying anything, so I guess you disagree? I'd really like your opinion. Wouldn't you have gotten tired of him calling you candy cheeks with a capital C?"

She laughed again, a nervous giggle that she couldn't help. She'd been explaining this situation to Johnny for the last fifteen minutes, and he'd only nodded his head a little twice.

"Well, I think I should have told him to lay off sooner, rather than later. I just didn't want to cause problems. You know how Herb can be." She couldn't stand it anymore. She got up and went to pat down his wild sprout of hair. The moment she touched his head, he screamed, arms flying up in the air, and flew sideways out of his chair.

He scrambled up from the floor, both hands on his forehead, before she could even get to him. "Oww. Oww."

"Johnny, I'm sorry! Did you hit your head?"

"No, no, I hit . . . something else . . . yesterday . . . and it's just now catching up with me."

She put her hands on her hips. "You mean you've been asleep the whole time I've been talking to you?"

"No! I was thinking. And I heard every word you said." He slid his glasses down on his nose and looked at her for a moment. "I mean, well, it was something about . . . Herb eating candy in the capital city . . . ." His eyes went wide. "And, oh man, where will I find another job if they lay us off?"

Bailey smirked. "Johnny, sit back down and drink your coffee."

"Am I wrong?"

She nodded then giggled again.

He slumped down into the chair. "Okay, okay, I promise, if you tell me again at about . . . three this afternoon, it'll all go down much better."