written for the Yuletide Treasure fic exchange in 2009. Skogkatt wanted
Lafayette to have a good day.
Some Crazy, Random,
Happenstance Bullshit That All Turned Out Okay
whispered in his sleep, in the depths of a dream that was
familiar to him now. He'd had the damn thing, or a variation of it,
several times a week for months--since he'd been healed of the gunshot.
It always started innocently enough, usually he was scared shitless,
then it turned into this total lust-and-fuck thing that he really
wouldn't have minded if only it had been with someone else. Like
someone maybe alive.
. . yeah,
hmm, mm hmm . . . yes! Yesyesyesmotherfuck--oh . . . oh God!
I hate you! I hate
. . . you . . . Eric . . . fucking . . . Northman." He
always came when it happened in the dream, and that's when he woke, in
the throes of his orgasm, always right in the damn middle. Not
afterwards, when he could say it was just all a dream. But in the
middle, so that he was awake and coming, and remembering and sometimes
wishing it wasn't just a dream. Which really pissed him off.
and licked his lips, squeezing his ass muscles tight and flexing
his thighs, enjoying the last whispers of it. "I hate you, you
old . . . blond . . . bitch."
had passed, he sat up and looked around, expecting to hear I
or some other smart-ass remark. He always felt like Eric was watching
him now, and he wondered if somehow the bloodsucker did have a way to
keep tabs on him. When he was satisfied that he really was alone, or as
alone as he could be, he got up to wash.
terrified of Eric anymore. He didn't flinch at the memory of him
or have flashbacks, though just thinking of Pam still gave him the God
damn heebie-jeebies. Of course, Pam was the one who kept showing up,
not Eric. He hadn't had to face Eric since he'd drank from him to heal
the gunshot. He was scared of Eric in his dreams, but only at first.
Then Eric would soothe him, whispering to him in another language that
was like music, and then he did things to Lafayette that in all his
years of having things done to him, he could never have imagined. No
one had ever made him come that hard, in a dream or in real life.
just dreams. Maybe he's a terrible lay in real life.
Lafayette told himself that sometimes to try to feel better. But
he had a feeling that Eric was every bit as fantastic a lover as he
dreamed. So the fuck of his lifetime was from a dreamed, dead mother
fucker who had imprisoned him, tormented him and given him a complex so
bad that shell-shocked Terry, who twitched every damn time the fryer
buzzer went off, had made Lafayette his project and tried to help him.
ain't right," Lafayette said to himself as he looked in the
mirror. "You look like a bomb done went off at the Mary Kay
factory. What the fuck is this?" The new eyeshadow was too light.
He chucked it into the trash, but then batted his eyes at the mirror.
"Still lookin' pretty fine, though." His voice sounded flat to him,
because deep down he didn't believe it. He never looked fine until he
put a scarf on and got it just right. He picked a turquoise one that
shimmered in the light. He'd never looked right with short man-hair he
had, so the scarves that hung down always made him feel better. Well,
I fucking feel pretty?
he said softly, before he headed out the door.
gotta minute?" Lafayette popped his head around Sam's open office
up?" Sam leaned back in his desk chair and Lafayette could have
sworn he looked relieved. He glanced down at the paperwork on Sam's
desk, and the mess of numbers he couldn't have even hoped to make out,
and he figured his impression was right.
too much--looks to be over by about seventy dollars." He held
it out for Sam.
it and looked at it. "You sure?"
seventy-dollars more than just about every check I've ever gotten
from you. Unless you gave me some super-raise you didn’t bother to tell
me about, you's overpaid."
you, Lafayette, I really appreciate that you would--"
now. Don't go on too long, as if it's so amazing that I'd come in
here with this!"
his head, wide-eyed. "No, that's not what I'm doing. I just
appreciate it, that's all."
'Cause I'm many things, but I ain't no God damn thief."
said, getting up from his chair and handing the check back as he
did so, "I wasn’t trying to imply that, take it easy."
my money honestly. Or, you know, occasionally in illegal ways, but
I always provide a product or a service--I do not steal."
I know that!" Sam was smiling now, and holding his hands up.
you just cut me another--"
Then even though he was thinking thank
said, "I don't think I need your charity, either, I come in here--"
smile was gone, but he wasn't exactly frowning, either. He looked
concerned more than anything. "Would you knock off the defensiveness?
This is me, here, Sam. I don't think you're a thief, and it's not
Sam. I don't know where--just, I'm sorry. Here." The fight
was leaving him, and he was glad because he really didn't understand
where it had come from in the first place. Sam had never treated him in
any way that should have made him jump to conclusions like that. "I
don't know why I reacted like that."
you're just not used to good
luck? So you're waiting for the bad luck that has to follow--it's a
feeling I'm familiar with. You keep it. Consider it a bonus."
back," Sam said simply. Then he smiled a little and walked past
Lafayette to leave his office.
good thing," Sam said, without turning.
was all right again, it was easy, and Lafayette was grateful.
"If you givin' out bonuses for little shit like that, how about a bonus
for lookin' fabulous? Because you know I got it goin' on today."
and turned, looked him up and down slowly and said, "Why yes,
Lafayette, I believe you do. But don't push it."
having an unbelievably good day. Sam had been right. He'd felt
defensive about the extra money because deep down he figured he'd have
to pay for it somehow. There'd be a catch. And there wasn't. That was a
pleasant fucking surprise, if ever--
was followed by laughter, but Arlene wasn't laughing. Lafayette
and Terry both hurried to the order window. Some drunk sumbitch had
pulled Arlene down onto his lap, and Lafayette could feel Terry
vibrating with anger next to him. And he felt for the guy. He knew
Terry wanted to go and take that fucker's head off, but he was
terrified of going out there, getting carried away, and literally
taking that fucker's head off.
it," Lafayette said, thinking that it had actually been too long
since he got to whoop on some dumb fuck who didn't know any better. The
last time . . . he'd knocked the fuck out of Eggs, getting Tara
away from him. Poor dead bastard. Lafayette felt bad about it now,
since it really hadn't been Eggs' fault. But at the time, thinking that
he'd been whaling on Tara, Lafayette just wanted to stomp him into a
greasy puddle on the ground.
out to where Arlene was trying to be reasonable with the ugly
dude who was holding her down on his lap and making hunching moves,
which sent him and his two equally trashed friends into fits of
giggles. Lafayette held his hand out for Arlene.
around the table collectively sent up an, "oooooh."
what we have here, boys. You're being rescued my
drunk said with a laugh, "but not by a prince . . . it's a
princess!" They all belly-laughed, and Lafayette rolled his eyes.
Arlene looked at him apologetically, and he quickly pulled while they
were laughing. This freed her, and she raced behind the bar where Sam
and Sookie were watching. Sookie put her arm around Arlene.
at Sam. "I think he's got it, it'll be all right."
They all knew that Lafayette, despite his eyeliner and his
"feminine wileys" as Terry sometimes referred to it, was one tough
bastard when he wanted to be--as tough or more than any of them. Terry
had given his opinion on that once at a Merlotte's staff Christmas
party, when Lafayette had gone to the restroom. He'd suggested what
they all thought but hadn't said, that probably being black and gay in
a town like Bon Temps made being tough some kind of requirement.
wasn't hurtin' her none. But, wait! I think Tinkerbell here must have
just been jealous. Pulled her off my lap so she
could sit here instead." He slapped his thigh and puckered his
lips, making dog-calling noises.
fantasy you got there, Buford, but I has standards." He slapped
his own ass cheek lightly. "This is the sweetest ass you will never
have. Now why don't you little boys tuck your dicks 'tween your legs
and go circle jerk somewheres else?"
three, but they were drunk. And even sober, Lafayette knew he
could probably take them. They weren't used to real fighting; they were
cowards. And cowards couldn't fist-fight worth a shit, because they
were always too worried that another in their group would cut and run
to save his own ass. Which usually happened, making it even easier.
biggest one said, and started to stand.
warned, and Sam wrapped his hand around the Louisville Slugger
behind the bar.
shoved the big, drunk bastard back down and said, "That's Mrs.
to you, Billy-Bob. And I suggest you get up slowly and mosey your fat
asses outta here just as nicely as you capable of. Because if you fuck
with me, I'll hit you so fucking hard that if the world is unfortunate
enough that some silly slut one day lets you into her panties at the
wrong time of the month and you actually breed, all you's
grandchildren's grandchildren will pop out between they momma's legs
with my handprint on their little redneck, soon-to-be-beer-guzzling,
tractor-pull watching, masturbating-to-NASCAR ugly fucking ass cheeks."
at the three mouths, hanging open a little, and cherished this
moment. Because this was the moment when their Budweiser-soaked brains
were trying to decipher just exactly what he'd said.
slammed his hand down on the table. "Was that too fast for you?"
men rose, but it looked pretty obvious to Lafayette that weren’t
going to follow his good God damn advice. He sighed, and though he
wouldn't take his eyes off the men, he could see Terry signaling so
subtly to Sam from the order window by flailing his arms out it and
alternately pointing with one finger then all four. Just as Sam and
Terry approached him from behind, the three rowdies started to deflate
a little bit.
one's fine, but three on three makes you pee yourself?" Lafayette
were exchanged, and Sam actually grabbed Lafayette's arm once to
keep him from punching one of them, because it really seemed like they
might leave without violence if the sober among them kept their cool.
were gone, Terry wiped his forehead with a shaky hand. "I didn't
think they were ever gonna leave."
you so ugly, you scared 'em." Lafayette clapped Terry on the
shoulder, and Terry laughed at the familiar tease. So everything was
all right, and the day was still pretty damn good. Though he'd have
liked to have busted that big one's head, at least one time.
Still, the look of supreme, bone-deep stupidity on
their faces had been satisfying, too.
doing a lot better. Yeah?" Terry was looking up at Lafayette
while he chopped carrots.
chop off a finger you don't watch what you doin'."
and looked down at the cutting board. "So, she's helping? You
psychiatrist. He'd given Lafayette her card after Lafayette had
collapsed and Terry had recognized the signs of serious post-traumatic
stress disorder. He'd gotten Lafayette through that little moment, and
had tried to pull out of him just what was wrong, but of course
Lafayette couldn't tell him.
how hard PTSD really is, Lafayette guessed, hadn't pushed
too hard, but had let him know he would be there for him. And he'd
given Lafayette Dr. Mueller's card. Said she'd helped him, and it was
worth a try, because he should do something rather than just suffer . .
. and a bunch of other stuff that Lafayette hadn't really been
go for a few weeks, thinking it was silly. What the hell did he
need a psychiatrist for? He knew he had issues--Christ, he'd had issues
since he was about 5, he reckoned. But in those few weeks, Pam had been
back to visit him with more V that Eric insisted he sell, and he'd been
a mess for a few days afterward. So he went.
if she'd been a big, handsome black buck, I'd like her more." He
winked at Terry, and Terry grinned a little before chopping again.
so. I haven't cried in front of you lately, has I? So I guess
she really did help. But not so much with any post-traumatic
stress anything. She helped by giving him someone to tell about
ordinary stuff, like being alone, how every son of a bitch he'd kind of
fallen for lately had turned out to be no good, how hard it was to be
yourself when yourself was Lafayette . . . that kind of thing.
that kind of helping over time had managed to make the rest a
little better, too. It wasn't like he could really explore the things
that made him post-traumatized and fucked up.
well, you see, I was selling V and I really pissed off this old
Swedish vampire and his posse, who threw me in a dungeon with some
other poor fucks, even tore one apart right in front of me, and then
bit the fuck out of me after some stupid bitch fang banger shot me, and
basically had me pissing my drawers all the time because I was their
prisoner and they could do anything to me at any time. And if all that
wasn't enough to make a bitch run down the road screaming, then the
whole town went whack-o because of some old bitch who was part buffalo
or something, wanted to raise up a god to marry her or eat her or fuck
her--I don't know. But the egg-licking bitch made me her bridesmaid,
and we was all Maypole dancing around a big statue of meat, and then my
boss turned into a white bull and gored her, and so now I get a little
nervous in the evenings. Got a God damn pill for that?"
too fucking hard to earn a living from a padded cell. So he
revealed to her, after several visits, that he'd pissed somebody off,
and they'd grabbed him and held him in their basement, and he'd been a
bit mistreated. Of course, she jumped to rape, and he'd cleared her up
on that. He hadn't been raped or gang-banged or anything like what she
he thought back to how they'd all gotten their jollies by biting
him at the same time, he realized with a shiver that he had technically
been gang-fanged. He wondered if he'd be so fucked up if they'd just fucked
had tried to get everything out of him, telling him that he
needed to go to the police and turn these people in, and of course he'd
let on like yeah, that would be best, wouldn't it? All the while
thinking that would be the quickest way to end up dead, or worse, back
in the basement at Fangtasia, waiting to be some dried-up
mother-fucker's breakfast buffet.
harping on the whole "crime" that had been done to him for a
while, and that let them talk about other things, like just being
Lafayette in a town like Bon Temps, or anywhere, for that matter. And
sometimes even crying about his life, and about why he couldn't win one
once in a while, and maybe things to do to make that more likely, she
said. And though he probably wouldn't admit it to anyone but Terry, it
made life a little bit easier.
will those fries be up?"
asked me that no less than five times, Arlene, and I will tell you
again they's coming once they's fried. If you can't wait for that, then
just put a God damn potato on a plate and take it away."
seems like it's--"
how to work the fryer, so I know you's not implying otherwise. Because
I may look like a delicate diva, my darlin', but that don't mean I
won't come out there and smack a bitch."
said through clenched teeth before she rushed away.
a clank, and turned to see that Terry had put his cleaver down
hard enough to make the noise. He stood there now, his arms crossed and
his nostrils flared. He was transferring his weight from one foot to
another and staring at Lafayette.
. . I know you talk like that to everybody, and nobody, not even
Arlene, thinks anything of it, because everybody knows you don't mean
it. It's just . . . just how you are. But . . . ."
bothers you when I talk to Arlene that way because she you lady."
and I know it probably shouldn't bother me, but . . . but it does."
I don't call her "bitch" anymore? I can't promise not to be
short-tempered, because you know how easy that is back here. But I'll
watch it on the rest. "
and lowered his arms. "Thank you, Lafayette. That's good of you."
tell Terry was relieved, and it felt good to have let Terry do
what he felt he needed to, while making it easier on him than he
thought it'd be. So by way of rewarding himself with a little
celebration, he circled around and stood next to Terry. "I might still
"bitch" now and then, though. 'Cause I ain't perfect."
his groin into Terry's hip fast three times. Terry's arms went
straight up, he cocked his head and squeezed his eyes shut. "Hump.
Hump! He's humping me again, Sam!"
and patted Terry's back, thinking just
turning to see what the fuck was wrong with the fryer, because
the bi--well, Arlene was right about it taking too long. Sam had
appeared at the window. "Who's humping what?" and Terry had waved him
off a little too enthusiastically with the cleaver. Lafayette had
teased Terry about it all for the rest of the night, and it had only
taken an hour or two for Terry to get into the spirit of it.
was cleaned up for the night, Lafayette ended up walking out
with Sookie who was going to give him a ride home, with Sam not too far
behind them, turning off the lights and finding the right key to lock
up with. Everyone else had already headed home.
Lafayette were talking about Tara. It had been her day off, but
even when she was there it was like part of her really wasn't. She was
still mourning Eggs, and they both guessed she just needed time.
telling her about how guilty he felt, when her eyes went wide and
she screamed a warning, too late. He felt the knife go into his lower
back, and it dropped him to his knees. When he felt himself going out,
he was glad, because
did it hurt.
Lafayette go down, but the man who'd stabbed him ran, leaving
Sookie alone. It was one of the men they'd had to make leave earlier.
Sam phoned for an ambulance on his cell as he ran for them. His
instinct was to go after the man--he knew he could catch him, even if
he didn't change--but Sookie grabbed him, clearly not wanting him to go.
off his shirt and pressed it against the wound in Lafayette's
back. He pressed hard, trying to stop the bleeding, but he shook his
head at Sookie. "It's too much, it's not stopping."
snapped in the direction of that voice. Eric.
get him inside, and I'll help him," Eric said calmly, with a slight
smile on his face, as if he were talking about them all taking their
picnic in out of the rain, or giving someone a pill for a headache,
instead of moving a man who was bleeding to death.
you come from?" Sookie asked him, her eyes narrowed.
the local . . . flavor. I sensed that Lafayette needed help."
was tense. "What are you two--this is no time for--"
save his life."
gently in his arms and waited for Sam to unlock the door.
"Wait, how did you know he needed help? And why would you even
. . . because I know it would cause you pain to lose him. You've
already lost enough. Friends, family . . . Bill."
necessarily believe his sincerity, and him mentioning Bill's
absence made her want to lash out. The only thing that stopped her
was that Lafayette was hurt and Eric probably was
his only hope. "But how did you--"
from me, so I can feel his strong emotions. Just like I can with
you. Feeling you both panic at the same time was . . .
breathed, his smile growing bigger. Before Sookie could protest,
he said, "Leave me alone with him," as he laid him on a table in the
back of the bar.
let's do what he says. Eric won't hurt him." Sookie said the last
with a loud, authoritative tone, as if she were making sure it wouldn't
happen because she demanded it.
won't. I promise," he said softly.
was alone with Lafayette, he opened his wrist and pressed it against
Lafayette's mouth. When some managed its way down his throat on its
own, only then did Lafayette actually suck. Soon, his hands came up to
hold Eric's wrist in place, and eventually he was moaning softly as he
drank, the wound in his back closed, his dangerous lack of blood
remedied, and his body lit up thanks to the powers of Eric's blood.
his wrist away as if annoyed, though he wasn't. But why not give
the appearance? It made things more interesting.
his head fall back onto the table. "Why?"
you before. I like you."
This one was actually far more interesting than most. He did
like him, a little. But he wasn't going to beg him to believe it. And
he hadn't been lying when he'd told Sookie that he didn't want to see
his hand out for Lafayette to take to sit up, but Lafayette sat up
on his own. "Leaving me hanging?" Eric asked, amused. "Do you really
want to treat me
I have been very good to you, you know. Forgiving in a way that's
usually reserved for . . . well, no one."
are you--? I mean, what the--?"
thank you. And keep doing what I ask. You'll have a long, happy
life that way, Lafayette." He patted the man's shoulder and gave it
a squeeze, enough to show just how easily he could crush the bone
if he wanted.
Lafayette said, but not without a little sass. Eric liked that,
too. He reminded Eric of Sookie in many ways. If ever the day came
when Lafayette had to be turned, his offer to be Eric's bad-ass
vampire was one that Eric would remember.
were doing was wrong, Lafayette. You were breaking our laws, and I
had two missing vampires on my hands, possibly because of it." He
ignored the burst of pain he felt thinking of Godric. "And one of them
has still never been found. If you'd been dealing heroin, and I'd been
a human Sherriff who arrested you, would you have held it against me
the way you do now?"
and rolled his shoulders, "No, but you wouldn't throw me in a
damp basement, half-starve my ass, make me shit in a bucket, and chain
me by my neck like an animal."
at him for a moment, blankly. "Oh," he said, his smile
returning, "well, perhaps not in this century."
drew their attention, and Sam and Sookie reappeared, Sam
obviously far more amazed at Lafayette's recovery than Sookie. He put a
hand on Lafayette's shoulder and then looked at Eric and said, "I'd
called them before you came. I'm sure they've dispatched the police,
awkward," Eric said. "Getting stabbed with no stab wound . . .
they'll probably want to drug test all of you." His little half-smile
never faded. "I'll see you soon," Eric said to Sookie, leaning forward
almost if he might kiss her before backing away. Then he turned to
Lafayette. "Wipe your mouth. Wait, I have a better idea. You're
gone faster than any of them could see, and Lafayette wasn't paying
close attention anyway, because before Eric disappeared he'd
clocked Lafayette right in the mouth. It split his lip and would leave
a nice bruise, he could tell just by the feel.
His hand over his mouth muffled part of
his tirade, and the pain managed to keep him from saying everything he
wanted to say. But he knew it had just been a tap. If Eric had wanted
to hurt him, he would have hurt him. This was to give
the emergency folks reason to think he'd really been
attacked, instead of deciding they were all high on meth
or needing a rest in the local funny farm.
time the paramedics had gotten inside, the split in his lip was
starting to seal up a little and throb less, thanks to the vampire
blood in Lafayette's system. But it wasn't healing so quickly that it
would arouse suspicion in the next hour or so, thankfully.
to go to the hospital. They'd all explained that the man had
tried to stab Lafayette, but apparently had just cut his shirt and then
punched him there, and that was the crushing pain that had caused him
to pass out. The blood? Oh, that, well, that had probably come from the
dude who'd tried to stab him and managed to only punch him. He'd cut
his hand, probably because he was drunk or on dope. And the blood
on Sam's wadded up shirt, that had been from Lafayette's lip
and his mouth, 'cause he'd got a tooth loosened up, and it had bled a
ambulance personnel got the story straight, that the guy who did
the stabbing must have cut himself pretty badly, and that Sam had
valiantly stripped off his shirt to hold against Lafayette's mouth
. . . they seemed satisfied. Only
Bon Temps, Lafayette
this fucked up little ant hill.
had been the very concerned and compassionate paramedic named
Alan who had the body of a God, and a behind . . . if only Eric hadn't
healed him up quite
so good, Lafayette would have actually had reason to ride in the
ambulance to the hospital, and gotten to spend some more time with
soft-voiced Alan and his beautiful behind. Lafayette knew his name,
because the first thing the man had done was take his hand to take his
pulse, and told him, in a soft and kind voice, "My name's Alan,
and I'm here to help you." He'd checked Lafayette over
thoroughly, though not quite as thoroughly as Lafayette would have
liked. Then he'd explained what needed to be done. They did still have
to file police reports, because he had been the victim of a crime and
Sookie and Sam were witnesses.
arrived on the scene while the paramedics were still assessing the
situation and had taken statements, asked them to all come in and tell
him what happened so he could get everything straight. Andy had
actually apologized at one point for seeming so cheerful about it.
happy you were attacked, Lafayette, I'm just glad that this is
just a drunk assault we have to deal with, and not some bitch
queen of the damned who's come to turn us all into a stew, or
told him to stay at home, but he didn't want to be alone. He
scooted a plate through the window toward Sookie.
have to hit me, you know that, don't you? He could have just
stayed and convinced the paramedics that there was nothing to see with
that fucked up hypno-mind-control shit he got goin' on."
"I know. But Eric is . . . Eric."
her walk away, her ponytail bouncing, and he wondered just how
long it would be before Eric took Bill's place. No one knew where the
fuck that vampire was, and Sookie was only just now starting to act
like herself again. At first, she'd been convinced she'd upset him when
she hadn't immediately accepted his proposal. Then she'd been convinced
that other vampires--mostly Eric--had done something to him. Now, half
the time she looked like she was waiting for him, and the other half of
the time she looked like she didn't care.
her with Eric last night, there was definitely something there.
It was hard to tell with Sook, but Lafayette knew her well enough to
Eric softened around her. They were gonna hook up, he realized, and
he wondered if it would still be okay to hate him after that.
all this, it dawned on him that he'd seen Eric, drank from him, been
hit by him, was thinking about him now and he . . . was okay. He hadn't
freaked out when he'd woke up to see Eric standing there, letting him
chew on his arm. He hadn't had a nightmare, or flashbacks, or puked or
anything since. And he had even sassed
Eric. Maybe it was the blood? Or maybe he was getting better. He
thought of Pam's face, and it made him nervous, but he felt like if she
came in now with another vial of V, he could cope. He might not sass
her, but he wouldn't piss down his leg, either.
and dropped another basket of fries, anticipating the need
because the late evening crowd was starting to head in.
he said without looking up.
to see the look on Sam's face that was an oddball mixture of
concern and amusement. All he needed to do was wiggle his eyebrows
while chomping on a cigar, and he'd fit right into an old
black-and-white slapstick movie. He looked uncomfortable and anxious,
like he might be completely constipated and trying not to laugh at the
gonna tie in a knot right in the middle of your face."
he looked past Sam, through the window, and saw his visitor. It
was Alan, from the ambulance. Alan
the Ambulance, with an Ass that's Amazing,
God," he mumbled.
God is right," Sam said. "He's asking for you. Do you think he's
suspicious about something?"
a break and go talk to him."
to ask me twice," he said, dropping his apron on the counter.
the Ass invited Lafayette to sit across from him in a booth, and
Sookie brought Alan a beer, because it turned out he was off-duty. She
smiled and bounced and brought Lafayette one, too. He was a on a break,
after all, so they knew Sam wouldn't care too much.
a bit freaked by how cheerful she seemed, given what had happened
last night, and why the guy was probably back.
Alan did talk about last night, how strange it was, and how lucky
Lafayette had been that the knife hadn't even scratched him. He was
well-spoken and so damn smart, running through the scenarios like he
did. And then they'd talked about other things. And then Alan and his
glorious ass had asked Lafayette out on a bonafide mother-fucking date.
He said he understood that "now" was a bit short-notice, because first
of all Lafayette was clearly at work, and because it was just rude to--
mind short notice. Don't mind at all. If I wasn't at work, I'd be
happy to go see that movie with you . . . but definitely Tuesday,
that's a date." He wrote his address and phone number on the little
slip of paper Alan handed him, and smiled up at him when he was
finished. He made sure to give that sultry look, with his head facing
down but his eyes facing up. He knew his best angles, after all.
movement out of the corner of his eye, and saw it was more of
Sookie's bouncing. Bouncing in front of Sam, who was smiling and
nodding his head, and finally put his hands on Sookie's shoulders to
calm her down.
appeared, practically laughing out the words because she was
smiling so big. "Lafayette, could we . . . talk to you for a minute.
Excuse us," she directed at Alan. "Don't go anywhere!"
and said he wouldn't, and Lafayette sashayed just as much as he
could while walking away with Sookie. "What the fuck are you doing,
baby girl? Things was going good, why--"
likes you," Sookie said.
all the more reason to leave us--"
really, really likes you. He thinks you're gorgeous, and
he's kind of a gentleman," she said, he voice getting all high at
the end, all excited-like. "A little inexperienced, but manners and
sayin' . . . he's like a normal mother fucker who really likes me?
A decent dude who looked as good as he looked in that paramedic
Sookie said, and Lafayette thought the balls of her feet must be
worn out by now.
not a fucking vampire, he don't have antlers and ain't gonna pop
up in the middle of the night with black eyes or a drug habit or a
police record or no shit like that? An honest-to-god, gorgeous man with
an actual job whose head won't spin around . . . ?" And
maybe won't want to fuck me within the hour and never call again? he
help thinking, too late, realizing that he was standing in
front of an overly-cheerful and excited God damn telepath.
yelped, all teeth and shining eyes. "I'm not picking up anything
that would make me think that, nothing at all. He likes
Sook and Sam, and noticed that Arlene and Terry were huddled
around now, probably wondering what was about to make the top of
Sookie's head come off. One corner of his mouth went up. "He is kind of
like a chocolate Jesus, ain't he? Black and beautiful, and creamy smooth.
know about all that creamy chocolate stuff." Sam chuckled and
drew a beer for Arlene, who was nodding in agreement with Lafayette.
"But why don't you take off early tonight, Lafayette. I think we
can handle it from here," Sam said, snapping a bar towel in his
direction. Sookie bounced, smiling.
Lafayette looked back over at Alan and really, really liked
the way Alan was looking back at him.
told you last night that you didn't have to come in today anyway,
after what happened. Take a few hours off, paid, so you won't worry
about the money. Think of it as a bonus."
at the bar, and winked at him. "For being fabulous." Sookie
laughed, even though she couldn't understand where that came from. Or
she was in their heads, and she could.
He winked at Sook, licked his fingertip and smoothed it over his
temple. "Off I go, to the God damn ball. And when my smooth, sexy
prince comes around looking for me from now on, as he might if luck
gets on my side of things for a change," to which Sookie nodded
enthusiastically, "all ya'll bitches need to keep your fine little
asses away from him. Hmph."
said, but Lafayette was already back at the booth, talking
to Alan with a hand on his hip. "He was supposed to cut that out."
"What do you mean?"
him not to talk to you like that anymore."
Sookie looked at each other and laughed. Sookie patted Terry's arm.
"That time, I'm pretty sure he was talking to you and Sam."
back at them and blew a kiss before he left, his hand on Alan's